Greeshma Mathews.
It was tragic;
convincing me that there is no way to escape other than into the reds in those
gulmohar trees...else it may make my blood color fade..!!
I started breathing heavily & made no choice other than death. Frigid water
in the tarn spellbinds me into its depth. I found my palm veins clearly in
Green. No, it’s fading into red, darkness of the color made me blind. At a very
long distance heard someone humming, it was Dhrupad.
I was worn out by its ecstasy. Every sleepless night shoved me into the same unlit
tarn.
It was not
merely a nightmare but my destination. I’m awake & know what is happening
exactly .Outbreak of a ‘string less’ woman, you might take it as simple as that.
My first visit to Das’s home.
A small piece
of turmeric was tied at the end of her saree; yet another custom for a Brahmin
widow.
It
has been nine days since Surabhi reached here. During these days, often she
hears some harsh voices of elderly women, in between the mourning ceremony, cursing
her for the bad fate of Bilahari Das.
“Thilodakam
and other funeral rites have been completed. It is important to give peace to
the departing soul in the astral
plane.”
a-brahma stamba-paryantam
devarsi pitr-manavah
trpayantu pitarah sarve matr-mata-mahadayah
atita-kula-kotinam sapta-dvipa-nivasinam
a-brahma bhuvanal lokadi-dam astu thilodakam.
Heard a loud recitation from the courtyard.
Mortuary card which had been tied to his knee
left untied on the floor. To her understanding it includes all physical details
about the dead person, but not her name. What she lost was her soul &soul
is not a physical thing, she thought. For a moment she forgets the fact that
Bilahari is dead, while glances of his gentle, smiling face passes through her
mind. Lacuna he left behind was huge.
“According to the custom, you are not supposed to move from this room
until the ‘Antyesthi’ is over.” Said an old lady in a strangled
voice. Surabhi couldn’t see the face as the lady was standing behind the partly
closed door. She feels totally jittered, strange & abandoned in that dark
room.
Her eyes filled with water as
every nook & corner reminds about Das. At once she urged to return back to
Basanchora & walk with him, under those unknown trees sprinkling red
flowers, as they used to do.
“Das...”
Surabhi whispered in great
agony, when she felt a frozen touch on her cheeks. The emptiness she realized, as
she was about to hold close him, made her round the bend.
Doors were open & it was
dark outside. She followed the disembodied voice.
The place was familiar.
Steps to the tarn..!! The water
was cold & still like the winter night.
“Das...” her brittle voice
sounds even feeble in the mist.
She started breathing heavily as water
covered over .Frigid water in the tarn spellbinds into its depth, made her palm
veins clearly in Green. No, it’s fading into red. Obscurity of the color spread
around.
At a very long distance she found Das.
